So damn tired..

tomorrow is the aces day and there's concert for teacher's day.. i'm still worried about our dancers.. haiz.. they are just so inexperienced.. wonder if we could out win the rest of the performing group..

i went to practise for aces day dance this afternoon.. and jenny even composed a warming up and cooling down.. hmm.. i wasn't pretty much interested in that.. and i started to feel bored after a few run through.. so the so called "sian".. zZz

i feel so restless nowadays.. practices on saturday.. tuition for both myself and my job.. exam is coming.. and to think that we are gonna compete with others in syf with that kinda lousy dance.. i mean.. tha dancers are lousy.. head is gonna burst.. and teacher just asked me whether i need ming hui kor kor's help or not.. saying that he is willing to give me tuition on friday night.. ya.. although it may seems that teacher cared much for me.. but.. i'm just so tired.. responsibility is what i should say the main cause of all this..

guess i still have to bear for it then.. if not how i'm gonna survive in the next few years during my sec 4 and poly or jc life.. how i wish i could have a long holiday.. go to somewhere where there's nothing to disturb me.. and i shall make the "somewhere" into a paradise of my own.. i.. want a world of my own..

Spend 17 years in a night..? zZz

Just now went to watch movie with Hanni.. Hui Fang and piggy.. the movie called "13 Going on 30".. after watching it.. well.. i realise that is one lame show.. basically talks about how a 13 year old girl grown up to become a 30 year old "women" in one night.. well.. and she encountered all problems and troubles that an adult will have.. but after all.. that was only a dream i should say.. that is a real lame show.. i feel so stupid to watch it.. zZz..

nah.. i've watched it anyway.. so i should stop complaining about it already.. today again.. i met my beloved cousin whom i adore the most in the Mac situated at the civics center.. oh well.. it's common to see her around there.. think she spend the time there more than the time she spend at home huh.. just to study for her o' level.. my god..

and as usual.. she will cover her face with any text book that was in her hand so that i wouldn't see her.. but too bad.. this time i was faster than her.. why she did it..? the only reason that i could think of is that i've created quite a chaos in her school huh..? i think many people saw me and her going out on last saturday.. haha.. and of coz.. being the popular and well-liked girl in her school.. gossips from boys and girls can't be avoided..

hmm.. don't really understand.. coz i'm no popular in my school.. haha.. too bad lah huh.. hmm.. going to publish this blog soon.. after i've made all necessary changes.. wondering what will the comments be.. nah.. whatever.. i'll know it when everybody come in to see all this crap i've written down.. and i'm still waiting for my dinner.. so hungry..

Dam u.. u mad..(Refering to myself)

Well.. coz of something which i don't even know.. i'm super crap today.. i was at kfc after my dance practise and i was singing songs using voice which is off key and all of my friends was looking at me.. as if they were saying " what the fuck has happen to him..?".. ya.. maybe i'm just high enough to do all these crazy things which i haven't been doing before..

talking about crazy things.. my dance instructor just said that i'm becoming naughtier yesterday night.. oh well.. is it..? i don't even realise that myself.. wasn't me quiet and cool in everybody's eyes..? and i mean really cool.. those kinda heck care ones.. oh well.. don't really care about it.. as long as i'm being myself.. coz i don't change myself just for someone.. if i do.. then i'm no longer myself..

again.. tired.. sitting on those kinda chair that manager sits.. typing all these down so as to reveal myself.. what ya say..? why i wanna reveal myself..? hmm.. basically.. part of the reason is that i wanna know who am i.. coz i'm behaving so different at times.. so much different that i don't even know which is me.. and another part of it.. of coz.. it's for all people who are curious about me.. i admit.. i'm very mysterious.. i'm very aware of that.. and that's why i call myself "Fading Silhouette".. many people had asked me question about myself and i can't answer them.. coz i don't know myself well.. i don't know which is the real me.. and now you can see the seperate part of reason linking to each other huh..?

and.. wow.. i've been writing this thing for half an hour.. wonder if i really taking this long though.. well.. enough of crapping about myself..

In the Middle of the Road..

i find this few days quite relax.. coz there's no homework to be handed in.. haha.. oh man.. there's physics and ss and history test tomorrow and i'm still slacking here.. nah.. do i look like i care..? no right.. just leave it the way it is..

i was so tired today.. no choice.. the performance is just around the corner and we've not met the target.. guess i shouldn't be too easy on them afterall.. not much progress is seen today, though.. i still feel that we can make it.. coz of the one and only sentence from mdm ow.. "Chinese Dance is the Number ONE CCA in Riverside.." haha.. wow..? surprise huh.. no.. it isn't.. this "number one" was earned by our hardworking seniors.. yes.. and it's my job to keep on carry the name so as to remain in number one..

after the practise.. ha.. my face is shiny.. my arms are shiny.. my legs are shiny.. and you know what.. it's all sweat.. wadde hell.. -.- and my hair was wet and i look like sadako with cut hair.. zZz..

was walking home alone after the practise.. suddenly i thought of something.. "I control no one.. And no one can ever control me" .. ya.. it's a motto of my own.. and i'm still wondering why i suddenly thought of that.. well.. maybe it's because i saw a little boy playing remote control car in the middle of the road.. haha.. oh my god.. why do sentences like this keep poping out of my mind..

after i had finished my tuition.. hey.. i receive a very heart warming message from a girl.. hmm.. a girl whom i've just made friend with.. well.. come on.. just a message.. it could mean nothing.. so don't get jealous huh.. haha.. =P

At the start of the count..

hmm.. first entry huh.. well.. what i'm gonna say is.. today is just another ordinary sunday.. *oh i'm f~r~e~e~z~i~n~g~* yes.. isn't it just another ordinary sunday that we have to go through in our lifes.. and i wonder who's the idiot that came out with "monday" and all this sort of things.. it's crap to me.. but it doesn't matter now does it.. afterall.. i'm already sixteen and i've gone through.. let me count.. one.. two.. 835 sundays..

wow.. am i so old.. hmm.. whatever.. i don't think it affects me ya.. i only hope that the time keeper of my life could end it soon huh? coz i've been tolerating all sorts of bullshit that is appearing in my life constantly.. ya.. i'm destined to be a stupid child with a stupid life having all the stupid thing around me at the start of the count..

although i'm used to it.. but in other people's eyes.. "poorthing" and "dramastic" aren't a good word to describe me.. and i'm still waiting for the rightful word to suit the rightful me..

look at the time.. time for tuition again.. guess i'm going again to tolerate the crazy jokes and ideas of my teacher and junior huh.. ya.. this is all for the "Start of The Count" ..