Process of rejuvenation..

hmm.. today is the second day of school days.. not bad i guess.. and i think the people in poly are so much better than those in JC.. yea.. that is just my experience in my three month JC.. it totally sucks la.. the system sucks.. the people sucks.. and the lecturer sucks too.. probably it's a new JC and i should just stop making general comments.. but.. whatever..

and one shocking thing.. my classmates are actually scared of me.. lol.. ok la.. maybe just a bit scared and not all of them.. actually i'm quite used to it la.. since my dance juniors said that my emotion changes with a click.. ya.. sometimes i could be fun and lame with you and sometimes i will just put on that"just fuck off" face.. but i thought it should be alright for those around my age.. furthermore my class has so many people born in 88.. i'm so amused la.. lol..

hmm... textbooks.. great problem.. the total cost of only four of them exceeds $100.. and all of them are so big like A4 size paper and thick like dick.. i mean.. dictionary.. tomorrow i've gotta rush down ngee ann city or takashimaya.. which i just found it out from ruiling that actually they are the same.. lol.. hmm.. just go there to cheer my dance juniors up.. since they have performance there at night.. as well as going there to have fun.. tomorrow is gonna be a busy day... darn.. no slacking anymore.. zZz..

Blank pages..

just came back from my shopping.. zZz.. the day before i went to orientation which is last sunday.. i realise that i've got nothing to wear except black.. damn.. so i decided to go buy some clothes so that i won't draw so much attention from people for being a blackie.. today is the second day of orientation and here i am having flag day tomorrow.. it's crap la.. haven't even start school then must do CIP.. Singapore sucks.. =X

hmm.. apart from that is still ok i guess.. and my time table is like.. my lesson only starts at 08:30 the earliest.. wednesday super fun.. start lesson at 08:30 then end at 11:30.. that is so freak la.. but i can only go off after 3 to 5 for the rest of the weekdays.. this totally turns me off.. -.-

Coded words..

tomorrow go k box with my buds.. woohoo... gonna sing my heart and lungs out.. i just love singing sometimes.. although i went off key occasionally.. but.. that's not the main point..

oh ya... i only realise this yesterday that i've got orientation for next week monday to wednesday.. which means i won't be going for dance.. i still thought i can slack one more week.. zZz.. that is so sad..

hmm.. nothing to write actually.. nothing new happened.. hmm.. guess i'm sick again.. zZz.. seriously hope i'll be better each day passes by..

4#22618#7336#86#7867#568464#968.. 416#259297#8379#3924833#9436#4#4327#67#3836#729#9687#6263.. 4#5878#3335#76#723#9436#968#36618#3836#92662#267937#69#78378466 #9484#2#746753#73759#63#937#67#66.. 263#4817#668#3836#843#78378466#63#275464#968#86#222378#63.. 4249..

First step with hands in my pocket..

oh great.. i'm back to square one.. lol.. i think i give myself too much hope.. i'm such a freaking fool.. this is so not like me at all.. alright.. 哭过了.. 就该继续上路.. now is the best time for me to leave.. guess i won't come back until i've found the reason to be back.. yea.. decided..

look at the time now.. i type the previous paragraph for half an hour.. amazing.. maybe it's just difficult for me to type that down.. i once came across this sentence and i finally get to know what exactly it means.. the hardest part of holding on is letting go.. how nicely it fits me.. =)

i find myself changing.. changing for the better.. lots of my thinking are so different than in the past.. but at the same time.. i lost myself.. i'm influenced.. but.. nevermind.. here i am at square one and i'm gonna find the old me back again.. maybe i can also get to know the reason to go back at the same time..

hmm.. at last i felt better.. i have no more troubles.. most of them are settled.. while for the others.. i shall kept them away and settled them again another time.. or maybe i don't even have to settle them coz they don't trouble me anymore.. how great.. and i shall now officially declare.. my new life.. starts.. now..

8682559#347277646833..

i think i care too much.. to care silently is a phrase i should always remember.. alright.. i don't even know what am i talking about.. my mind is in a mess.. whatever.. i should be happy now.. but why? i can't stop thinking.. i always ask others not to think too much in the end i'm the one thinking too much.. well.. who asked me to grab a chance which is not mine..

man.. i wish someone can give me a tight slap to wake me up.. wadde fuck am i doing..? i really do not know.. and why am i typing all these shit down..? wadde hell.. something gotta be wrong with me.. i think i should go to the next appointment with the psychologist.. i put her on plane for the first appointment.. lol..

i don't think i can sleep tonight.. haiz.. wadde fuck is wrong with me? DAMN IT

Armed up..

hmm.. i should talk about yesterday first.. went to dance lesson.. felt so tired.. luckily the lesson is not as hard as the sunday class.. if not i'm gonna faint.. hmm.. give my dear bunch of girls an extra one hour lesson after practise.. i really enjoy teaching them la.. and that is what learning is all about what.. to have fun and to learn at the same time..

today.. went to orchard with my dear bunch of girls.. i think they are very inactive today.. probably is coz of lack of people.. not much happened though.. but i certainly feel old.. ya.. like wadde hell.. lol.. and i think they are very sick of my philosophy la.. haha.. fine.. i shall talk less about things which are so into reality in the future..

i learnt something today.. which is that you won't understand certain thing about others until you've gone through the same thing that others have gone through.. it's just like a cycle.. to think that she dislike bossy people and now she is being disliked by other people coz of being bossy.. whatever.. she's becoming someone that i'm unfamiliar with.. or maybe someone whom i'm so familiar that i'm so disgusted.. nah.. damned person with the damned life having all the damned things around the damned him.. and hey.. i broke my record by saying four damned in a sentence.. =X

tomorrow going to SP to buy my laptop.. woohoo.. i'm quite looking forward to that.. i always wanted a laptop from sec two until now.. and i'm gonna have it tomorrow finally.. muahaha.. but it's only for doing project.. so sad sia.. i don't care.. gonna install games inside..

i heard rumours.. and i heard gossips.. fuck them all to hell.. will they shut the fuck up and go home drink milk..? they just don't know how detestable they are.. i'm gonna quit once i'm done with my things.. they really have nothing more inside their mouth except shit.. -.-