Numbers..

i finally impressed my traditional.. stubborn.. yet understanding father.. do you know how hard it is to convince him? he's got all the qualities that the society needs.. he thinks in all direction and aim for zero error.. and yet i'm able to convince him.. this is such an accomplishment in the history of me..

however i feel useless too.. the main reason for me to make this decision is coz i wanna show that i'm old enough to support myself.. yet they found a better solution which is getting the help from others.. although it seems the same for them.. it defeats my purpose of changing.. oh well.. nevermind.. at least i fulfilled my other reasons for the change..

i began to feel that it's wrong of me to always go back.. now they are treating me like some person with the utmost power in there and the one who makes every decision.. like what's wrong with them? i'm only there to help.. they did something wrong.. i correct them.. they did something not to satisfactory.. i pin point them.. they are suppose to do something.. i remind them.. but definitely not doing everything for them.. like what? riverside chinese dance troupe is mine? definitely not.. it's yours and only yours.. you are suppose to make it shine while i'm the one guiding you..

i'm not pushing all the responsibilities to all of you.. but that attitude of yours towards me and the troupe is totally wrong.. so wrong that it's out of track.. i bet there's none other cases like this except us.. but not to blame.. i've never agreed to let a bunch of young girls who only know how to play and enjoy themselves to guide the troupe.. my fault.. perhaps they are right.. those who are from riverside are problematic.. including me..

to make it simpler.. i'm like the 10 dollar note and they are the 1 dollar 50 cents and 10 cents coins.. what's the difference.. i know more than them and is capable to do more things.. but i alone is not enough.. only together.. we can then buy things with higher value.. be it 40 dollars or even 50 dollars..

the older ones wish the younger ones to be more mature.. ironically.. the younger ones wish the older ones to be more understanding..

Rising stock..

alright.. just one last post before i leave for china.. was thinking about it just now on the way back from taking the photo for the teaching cert for jazz..

everyone is different.. as we all know.. so everyone has a different worth of living.. some people like to be praised.. some people like to do what they like.. some people like to be on top of everyone.. and some people like to be bullied.. the last one may sound crap.. but think.. if your good friend who plays with you by bullying you change his attitude towards you.. what will you feel? uneasy.. worried.. why? coz you are afraid that he is starting to ignore or even hate you.. then you lost a good friend..

bullying might not seem to be good for outsiders.. but sometimes it becomes a way to communicate or even bond the relationship much stronger than just talk your heart out.. it all matters with how you treat the bullying as.. and no matter what it is.. you should always be careful with the change of attitude of others towards you.. coz most of the time.. the answer is negative..

to get along with anyone.. first find out what is the worth of living of them.. if they wants attention.. give it to them.. if they wants to be praised.. give it to them.. or the easiest.. if they just want you to lend your ears.. just do it.. best friends come with how much worth of living can you give them..

it's always useful to compare the younger ones with the younger you..

Stationary station..

it's time.. for me not to interfere anymore.. i should get used to it.. there's bound to be something like that happening.. to the one i care.. or should i make a very general statement.. girls are all like that.. i don't blame and hate them for being sensitive or anything.. but sometimes it's just unbearable.. it's time to let them decide on what to do rather than i.. who has got nothing to do with it to be a busybody.. unless they need me.. yea.. that should be the way..

reading a cheerful girl's bio really helps.. especially when she has her dreams to achieve.. the way she wants to work towards it is just like kids making their dreams.. nevertheless.. i'm very motivated by it.. thank you jia zhen.. you brighten up my day.. and let's find a time and improve on our partner dance someday.. haha.. =)

reality is cruel.. however it makes you stronger.. and whenever you look back on what you've overcome.. it's always an accomplishment.. you can never cross a river twice.. but you can look back at it for a thousand times.. what has happened to you will never leave you.. you may choose not to look at it for some reason.. but it will stay in a corner.. until you unintentionally recalled and finally wanna take a good look at it.. and smile as well as appreciating the goods and bads.. life is a journey? no.. i'd rather say it's more than just a journey..

it's not hard to believe in others.. as long as you believe in yourself..

Simple appeciation..

"it's so unfair lo".. "what you did to us is very unfair you know..?".. unfair.. that's the word that i always hear.. and well.. i don't blame them for feeling unfair.. coz they obviously are too young to even understand the cause and meaning of unfair..

but before everything.. i think we have to ask ourself why must we be so sensitive and fussy towards certain thing before feeling that it is unfair.. is that issue worth the time to be angry.. to be fussy about? of coz.. if the reason is about maintain your stupid face.. then i guess there's no reason for me or even we being unfair to you.. coz that's how we were taught.. that's how we were brought up.. if you think it's unfair.. then it will also be unfair for us to treat you "fairly"..

so what's the point of arguing over fair and unfair? it's like a never ending circle.. always going back to the beginning once it begins.. everyone will be treated the same way.. and that way is the so called unfair treatment.. only when everyone is unfairly treated.. fairness will be present.. simple as it is..

only coffee without sugar.. can maintain its original taste..

Lively life..

alright.. the pressure is coming to me already.. to think that i spend so much time on those and they are called "有点像基训".. kinda disheartening.. but oh well.. i hope things will become better after i've come back from china.. hmm.. there's too much to say but whatever it is.. i'll maintain my confidence.. that's the only thing i'm capable of..

on the brighter note.. i'm so relieved that a quarter of it is almost done.. oh well.. what i mean almost done is that it's not really to my expectation yet.. so stuffs will be sure to change very often.. most probably i'll get it done by september to october.. and do some perfection here and there for the rest of the time..

am i too bias or what..? i don't feel that they have a bad attitude.. they are just playful sometimes and need some reminder.. or perhaps i'm too lenient with them.. hmm.. maybe i should work on that more often then just continue with what i'm doing.. dealing with humans is always troublesome.. zZz..

though i don't know what's the content.. but my mum seems happy after talking to godma.. oh well.. as long as she don't give me that irritated face she can do whatever she wants.. and i feel so peaceful coz my mind is not full of that goddamn love anymore.. oh my god that is so random..

keep your best and work on the others.. that's how success come about..