The revolving stars..

i really hate it when i'm thinking too much.. coz it leads to having too many options and end up confusing myself.. but i can't do much to it right..? guess i'm at the struggling stage of growing up.. ah well.. nice way of self-consoling..

it really sucks.. when i can't be myself due to circumstances.. and i really think i should give up since i don't know if i can adapt to that kinda world.. but somehow the pain that followed along kinda make me wanna think through my decisioins again..

you know.. when you stab a person.. he probably wouldn't die from it.. but if you took out that knife or whatever it is that you used to stab.. that's it.. i guess this is the best way to describe how i feel now.. it seems like my hopes now are like a thousand arrows all over my body.. i only wish that that person who wields the bow doesn't take them all out at once..

jiafeng you sucker.. you are just confused.. that's it.. no more rubbish from you..

the best dream is when a dream is no longer a dream..

Life abstraction..

i was being raised up by a very strong mindset of being a great person.. i was taught to be logical.. i was told to never allow myself to do the same mistake twice.. well.. perhaps all those got into me somehow.. that's why i can be the person i am now.. though i can't say that i'm great enough.. but well.. at least i achieve something that is quite difficult for others..

but sometimes i really envy those who have an eventful life.. with all the stupid things around.. and making a joke out of them.. which is gonna be so fun.. compare to that kinda life.. mine seems dead.. too serious.. and too boring..

i was taught that one who doesn't understand the way a "great person" work things out will only say that they have no life.. that they are crazy to be so crazy over something.. and the pickyness is simply unbearable.. these people who can't accept those "great people" are what we called commoners.. coz they don't understand the term "setting a high standard for yourself"..

but what's great of being a great person?.. take for the above as example.. your circle of friends will then be largely decreased.. even your soulmate.. if he or she cannot adapt to your way of living.. lots of problems will occur.. except for the praises you got in the surface.. there're nothing more.. at least i thought so..

know what? my mother simply cannot understand why do i have to go out to dance in noon and come back only in midnight almost everyday.. although she only complains about it once in a while.. but i know this really affects her coz i'm the only one living with her.. only my father is kinda able to understand my situation.. oh well.. what could i say? they got divorced coz of the same reason right..? coz of not being able to compromise with each other..

it's a hard life i'm leading which is too late to turn back.. so i'll lead on with a smile.. better still if i have her smile to give me more drive..

fairytale? it exist only when you believe..

A label from heaven..

you know.. it's really amazing how big and how small this world is.. a girl who i knew six years ago from an event and later on with no contact with each other at all.. we just met each other on facebook through an international application few days ago.. and we chatted for so long like nobody's business.. like an old friend or something along that line.. great.. finally there is someone who can be my rubbish bin.. =X

i'm so glad that the idea of buying a jigsaw puzzle for her just rush to my mind in an instance.. i'm so glad that she feels motivated.. and i'm so glad that she's getting lotsa inspiration.. oh well.. i'm just glad that i can be of help..

inspiration is like an epiphyllum.. which blooms for just a short moment.. i just found out a poem that i wrote five years back and i totally forgot about it.. luckily i wrote it down and kept it somewhere.. maybe i'll present it here.. haha.. if i'm not wrong this was my first try on writing poems.. when i was deeply down coz my first love decided to leave me..

You came along.. Just like a song..
Brighten up my days which everyone had longed..
But you went away.. Just like a tree sway..
Fading off my memories and none had stayed..

always carry a camera and a notebook.. to capture moments of beauty and sparks of thoughts