Seriously..

you know.. we are always in the situation where one thing comes after one another when the previous one just ended.. it’s too tiring.. but it’s too satisfying..

it’s always about the mentality of how you see things.. some people will feel happy when they did it.. while others will say like oh at least we got it.. but still i believe that spreading the positive around will help us to stay together..

although i kinda know what’s gonna happen at year end.. no matter it’s gonna happen or not.. that’s why my project must work.. my project has to work.. and it’s gonna work.. coz i believe in it and all the other people that inspire me to do it..

well i guess the very first thing i’ve gotta do is to make the first step and be proactive.. i can’t wait anymore.. there’s no time coz of that stupid ns.. if not i would have like 2 more years to get prepared and launch execution.. i need leaders.. i need someone who can take over my place.. and apparently there hasn’t been a suitable candidate..

the problems of having youngsters is that they are already gone just when their thinking have matured.. and those who stayed on are the immatured ones.. not that i’m complaining.. but well i guess it’s really important to make everyone stay on so we can grow and mature together rather than leaving one by one.. and also to pass on the knowledge to the kids so they can take over us..

i need people who can teach them the right things.. but i guess i’ll start with myself first.. alright.. that’s the plan.. sounds good but dangerous too.. but that’s what makes life interesting..

education.. no effort from you.. no change in them..

iThink..

tell me why?

i thought i've overcome the fact that no one will understand me.. but somehow i just felt an urge to talk to someone.. and then.. i realise that there's no one whom i can talk to.. there are just certain things in everyone that others don't understand what he or she is going through.. maybe that's why..

well in the first place i should have blamed myself for making myself so complicated for others to understand.. i too hope that i can be simple.. easy-going.. communicatable.. but there are just some self-demands that i can't put down.. which made people around unhappy? feel helpless towards me? or maybe even hated me for being like this..

but whenever i'm in doubt of myself or whatever it is.. i always tell myself to stop dwelling into it and go on to do some other things.. and it works.. at least for me.. i guess everyone just has to find a way that works best for them..

ok this post is not making any sense.. enough whining jiafeng.. get going coz there're a lots of things waiting for you to do..

i'm so gonna get pumped up after this post.. if not i'm screwed for the big moments later.. alright jiafeng.. condense yourself.. get calm.. go into the "empty" state of mind.. and meditate.. breath in as you fill your whole body with air.. and breathe out and relax your whole body at the same time.. and i'm done.. off to sleep now..

and wow.. that's easy..

if you can't write off the past.. then stop bringing it up..

Fine line to cross.. Fine line to seperate..

"being a teacher.. your job is to nurture and raise the new generation with full focus.."

that's gonna be my new way of life.. coz i've seen far too many teachers either being lazy.. or scared to be lectured by the principals that they have forgotten their duties.. just tell me.. how can a person be a teacher when he/she keeps talking about whether would the principal like it or not..? that's more like principal's maid..

i've come to realise that for everything we do.. the kids are the most important ones.. they are the king that you have to protect in shogi just like a certain anime stated.. they are the one who will pass on the knowledge.. they are the one who will dominate the world after us.. they are undoubtedly.. our hope..

i recently understand how powerful is it to believe.. but then there're too many complaining about kids.. how they are disobedient.. how they don't listen to you at all.. and they've lose trust in them.. but if you don't believe in them.. what else can you do? especially for teachers when your job is to educate.. what else can you do if you don't even believe the students..? absolutely nothing.. and then there will be giving up.. there will be mental disorder.. there will be rebellious period.. there will be student violations.. there will be wars among parents and the school.. and then there will be kids left uneducated who resolved in crimes to vent their angers..

kids might be playful.. might be disobedient or even rebelliouss.. but that's why the teachers are here.. the parents are here.. they are not here to scold the kids when their teaching method doesn't work.. but here to keep finding new ways to pass on the knowledge to them so that they can understand..

and to all teachers and parents.. if you happen to read this by one way or another.. maybe you would like to think through about it coz this is the kind of teacher and parent i'm gonna be.. and hope you will be too..

self enrichments start with "think"..