Raining as I'm breaking..

yesterday night just after i had a workout.. i received a really bad news.. although i kinda got prepared for it.. i don't know whether i should be happy about it.. coz everything negative just seems to happen one by one as i predicted.. but whatever is the case.. i got it prepared and i got myself a solution.. so let's hope everything will work out..

thinking deeper.. i start to question myself.. am i ready? do i really understand everything? can my insufficient knowledge be convincing? it's the world i'm dealing with and i can't afford a mistake.. coz it will make me lose something that i've been finding for the past few years: a suitable candidate for a greater purpose i've been planning for three years..

am i doubting myself? no.. i can't doubt myself.. it makes me lose my cool.. i guess i just have to give it a try.. no.. not a try.. i must give it my all to make sure it works.. no mistake.. no uncertainties.. no left over problems..

i'm still not happy how all the negative things all happens like what i predicted.. has the world fallen so low? so much that a mere 23 year old young adult can know what happens next.. there's gotta be a way to change this around.. and i shall find it..

in the end.. we are all the same.. it's just the ideal that make us different